What I Wished People Knew About EMDR

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is one of the most researched and respected trauma therapies that we have available. But for whatever reason, it remains widely misunderstood. Perhaps it has to do with what is admittedly a terrible name for a therapy? Or maybe there’s too much stuff on the internet for the average person to sift through. Who knows. 

As a trauma and addiction therapist who uses a ton of EMDR Therapy with clients, I often meet people who want to try EMDR but have misconceptions that make them anxious, skeptical, or hesitant. Then it's up to me to educate them about the therapy and all of its theoretical and practical elements. My hope with this blog is to clear up some common myths while highlighting some actual facts about EMDR. That is, EMDR is a structured, evidence-based, and highly effective approach that helps people heal from painful experiences.

Below are the things I truly wish more people knew about EMDR:

1. EMDR is evidence-based. It is NOT a pseudoscience.

One of the biggest myths I see is that EMDR is “woo-woo” or unscientific. I admit that it’s hard to believe that simply moving your eyes back and forth while thinking about some things will really help you. Yes, it’s weird! Especially if you're used to what occurs during traditional talk therapy sessions where you sit across from a therapist and talk about your problems. In reality, EMDR is one of the most rigorously studied trauma treatments available today. 

EMDR is based on the idea that psychological and emotional issues are the result of insufficiently-processed, maladaptively-stored negative events from the past. The approach in therapy is therefore to explore and uncover what the root experiences of a person’s issues are, then reprocess them to adaptive resolution. Upon neutralizing these traumatic experiences using a variety of techniques including back and forth eye movements or tapping, the psychological symptoms resolve.

People sometimes ask, "Is it new?" And I think, emphatically, no! In fact, EMDR was created by Dr. Francine Shapiro in 1987 (the first two published studies were in 1989) and has been developed ever since into the robust therapy it is today. 

EMDR is recognized as a first-line treatment for trauma and PTSD by many major national and international health organizations, including:

• The World Health Organization (WHO)
• The American Psychological Association (APA)
• The Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) and Department of Defense (DoD)
• The United Kingdom’s National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE)
• The International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies (ISTSS)

These organizations don’t make recommendations casually. They reviewed countless studies demonstrating EMDR’s safety and effectiveness. Click here for a review of research on EMDR compiled by the EMDR Institute. Click here to view the 2023 Clinical Practice Guideline for the Management of PTSD by the VA/DoD.

2. EMDR does not have to be a torturous, overwhelming process.

Another myth is that EMDR forces people to relive their trauma in a raw, uncontrolled way that is just too painful to bear. Many imagine EMDR as something too emotionally brutal, like being thrown into the deep end without support.

This is simply not true when EMDR is done correctly.

A skilled, seasoned EMDR clinician emphasizes the importance of stability, pacing, and safety. In fact, this concept of establishing “readiness for reprocessing” is built into the therapy process and ingrained into participants’ minds during basic training. Before you ever touch traumatic memories, EMDR therapists are supposed to be intentional about assessing for readiness and doing the necessary preparatory work. This can often encompass activities such as:

• Teaching coping skills and emotional regulation strategies
• Building ego strength and internal stability
• Ensuring a client can stay grounded during the process (as well as in between sessions)
• Practicing how to move back and forth between states of activation and calm

To ensure a client has a positive, therapeutic experience, the goal is to only move into the reprocessing phase of treatment when a person is “ready”. And even then, the process is methodical and collaborative, and designed to help you stay within your window of emotional tolerance. Click here for a blog I wrote on pacing in trauma therapy.

Don't get me wrong - it's still hard work, and there is some discomfort you will inevitably have to feel as you face painful memories from the past. But many clients are surprised by how manageable EMDR feels. Yes, sometimes damn difficult. But not the emotional freefall they feared. With proper containment and pacing, people can revisit hard experiences without becoming overwhelmed, and they often feel empowered by their own capacity to face the traumatic material.

3. EMDR is not magic, and trauma doesn’t vanish in one session.

A common misunderstanding, likely fueled by social media, is that EMDR is a one-session miracle. Perhaps this is a fantasy that many traumatized people have, hoping for some fast relief to their long-term suffering. While EMDR can produce faster results than many traditional talk therapies, it is not a magic wand.

Healing traumatic memories takes time and depends on a variety of factors, such as:

• How complex your trauma history is
• Developmental (childhood) vs. single-incident traumatic events
• How much stabilization and preparation work is needed first before reprocessing memories
• The skill and attunement of your clinician

It is unrealistic (and unfair to yourself) to expect a lifetime of pain, trauma, or attachment wounds to disappear in a few sets of eye movements. Early trauma, neglect, or repeated harm often requires more comprehensive, layered work. 

That said, EMDR is still one of the fastest and most efficient trauma therapies we currently have. Sessions can unlock and reprocess material much more rapidly than purely cognitive or talk-based approaches. I mean, cognitively, many people who are traumatized already know they are okay, but deep down, they don’t feel that way. And this is exactly the reason why it often requires a therapeutic approach that gets deep at the root of the issue.

EMDR is powerful, effective, and healing. But it is not always instantaneous (though sometimes it is), nor magical (though sometimes it feels that way).

4. EMDR is not only for “Big T” traumatic events.

Many people assume EMDR is only for catastrophic or life-threatening events such as war, sexual assault, or near-death situations. Of course, EMDR is extremely effective in treating those experiences.  But in reality, EMDR is highly effective for processing what we call "little t" traumas as well. Research actually shows that these experiences can lead to as much or even greater traumatic stress symptoms than the Big T events (see studies 1, 2, and 3, which demonstrate this). In fact, most of the EMDR work we do at Mangrove Therapy Group focuses on these small t traumatic events which are often at the root of self-esteem issues, depression, and anxiety disorders, and relationship difficulties. 

Here are some examples of "little t" traumatic events:

• Childhood neglect
• Attachment wounds
• Shame-based experiences (like critical parenting or school experiences)
• Bullying
• Medical trauma
• Unexpected losses
• Breakups and relational betrayals
• Chronic stress, instability, or unpredictability

The level of traumatization is not defined solely by the event, but rather the total negative impact on a person's system. Oftentimes, it is the accumulation of traumatic material that occurs over the course of a lifetime that leads to toxic shame, self-destructive patterns, and negative core beliefs. EMDR helps reprocess these stuck emotional experiences so they can finally move into adaptive resolution.

5. The therapist matters. A lot.

Because EMDR has become more popular, many clinicians are getting trained. This is really great. But please recognize that, like all things, skill levels vary widely among practitioners.

A well-trained and experienced EMDR therapist can build a solid rapport with you while helping you feel comfortable with the overall process (I don't care how skilled you are at processing traumatic memories; if you can't provide a sense of safety for your clients, then they will not "go there" with you). They can effectively and efficiently identify the root memories responsible for the client’s issues (sometimes it's complex and muddy). They are good at monitoring a person’s nervous system while adjusting pacing and utilizing specialized techniques and strategies for neutralizing the traumatic material fast and keeping the client in their window of tolerance. They are also proficient in working with complex and developmental trauma, something that can get messier and therefore requires specialized approaches.

When done incorrectly or rushed, EMDR can feel destabilizing or confusing. When done skillfully, it can feel safe, structured, and empowering. 

Mangrove Therapy Group specializes in the use of EMDR therapy to treat a variety of psychological issues.

6. EMDR doesn’t erase memories. It changes their emotional charge.

Some people fear EMDR because they worry it will erase their memories or make them forget important events in their lives. Please know that EMDR does not erase memories. It reprocesses them so that the memories lose their emotional charge, feel less raw, and stop triggering intense physiological reactions. It's as if the process helps to metabolize the traumatic material that somehow has been stuck within these memories. At the end, you will be able to recall them without reliving them, as if they are just old experiences from the past. The memories become neutral and “filed away”, so to speak, and properly stored in the brain in a non-emotional state. You still remember what happened. It just stops running your life!

Start Working With an EMDR Therapist in Palm Beach County, FL

EMDR remains one of the most powerful tools we have for helping people heal from both acute and long-standing emotional wounds. I hope I was able to dispel some myths and teach you a little about what EMDR is really about. If you’re considering EMDR, know that you don’t have to be afraid of the process. In the right hands, it can be a transformative! You can start working with the team at Mangrove Therapy Group by following these simple steps:

1. Contact Mangrove Therapy Group 

2. Meet with a caring therapist 

3. Start finding lasting recovery from trauma!

Other Services Offered with Mangrove Therapy Group

EMDR therapy is only one piece of the healing puzzle. Our therapists are trained to support you through so much more. Our Delray Beach, FL office, also offers care for:

• Trauma, EMDR intensives, PTSD, and Complex PTSD
• Substance use and process addictions
• Eating disorders and body image concerns
• Grief, loss, anxiety, depression, and self-esteem challenges
• Anger, shame, emotional dysregulation
• “Failure to Launch” issues and life transitions
• CBT and DBT-based support

If you’re ready, we’re here. Let’s help you build a life where your nervous system doesn’t have to brace for impact—and where love starts to feel like a soft place to land. You can learn more from our blog or FAQs page.