Sex and Love Addiction in Early Recovery
One of the things I have observed in my career in working with individuals struggling with substance abuse is that more often than not, the chemical dependence gets replaced with something. It’s different for everyone. With some individuals, it’s eating disorders. Others struggle with gambling or shopping. Some love the thrill of stealing something that does not belong to them. Some seek adventure in high-intensity activities. Others throw themselves headfirst into romantic relationships. Some develop unhealthy behaviors around sex. Whatever new addiction is picked up is their effort to experience the same “high” and feel good in whatever ways they have left once substances are put down.
That’s why we so strongly encourage deep work in therapy following treatment or in conjunction with the 12-step community. Sobriety is not just about ceasing to put a substance into your body. Real and lasting sobriety is getting to the root of the original pain that jump-started addiction and achieving peace and contentment without the need to abuse any substance OR behavior.
Sex and love addiction, like other forms of addiction, can present unique challenges, especially during early recovery.
The general suggestion is to not engage in new sexual or romantic relationships for the first year of recovery. This is sound advice meant to lead to healthier relationships down the line and minimize the chance of relapse.
In the initial stages of recovery, individuals may experience strong cravings or compulsions related to sexual behavior or romantic attachments. These cravings can be triggered by stress, loneliness, or even exposure to certain people or environments. Also, many individuals face withdrawal symptoms in early recovery that can be overwhelming. Feelings of shame, guilt, anxiety, and depression are very normal experiences in the beginning. Let’s face it. Chemistry feels good. Attraction feels good. Flirting feels good. Sex feels good. In early recovery, many people find themselves searching for anything and everything they can find to feel good again. However, a lot of sobriety is about learning to find peace and contentment in the DISCOMFORT.
Additionally, early recovery often involves reassessing relationships, as previous dynamics may have been influenced by addiction. This can create tension or difficulty in maintaining healthy boundaries. Most people find that they are looking for very different things in a partner in recovery than they were looking for in active addiction.
If you find yourself struggling with sex and love addiction in early recovery, there are many venues for support:
Support Systems:
Joining a support group like Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) or Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) can provide a sense of community and understanding. These groups offer a safe space to share experiences and receive guidance from others who have gone through similar struggles.
Psychotherapy:
Working with a therapist, especially one who specializes in addiction or is well-versed in treating the underlying pain that leads to addiction (search for attachment therapists, EMDR specialists, and trauma-informed therapists) can be crucial. Therapy can help address underlying issues, develop coping strategies, and work on building healthy relationships.
Establishing Boundaries:
Learning to set and respect boundaries is essential. This might mean avoiding certain triggers, people, or situations that are linked to addictive behaviors.
Developing Healthy Habits:
Early recovery is a good time to develop new routines that support sobriety. This might include regular exercise, meditation, journaling, or pursuing hobbies that provide a healthy outlet for emotions.
Education and Self-Awareness:
Educating oneself about the nature of sex and love addiction, its triggers, and patterns can be empowering. Awareness is a key step in preventing relapse.
Patience and Self-Compassion:
Recovery is a process, and it’s important to be patient with oneself. Practicing self-compassion can help in dealing with setbacks and continuing the journey toward wellness.
Regular Check-Ins:
Staying in regular contact with a sponsor or accountability partner can provide ongoing support and encouragement.
Sex and love addiction recovery is challenging, but with the right support and strategies, it’s possible to build a healthier, more fulfilling life. It’s recommended to refrain from romantic relationships from the first year of sobriety for good reason. Give yourself time to heal and adjust to the new normal of life and get some coping skills in place rather than looking for a “quick fix” and you will have healthier and more fulfilling relationships in the long run.
Start Working With an Addiction Therapist in Palm Beach County, FL
Recovering from love addiction can be much easier said than done. Our team of caring therapists would be honored to provide support as you navigate your recovery journey. You can start your therapy journey with Mangrove Therapy Group by following these simple steps:
- Contact Mangrove Therapy Group
- Meet with a caring therapist
- Start receiving the support you deserve!
Other Services Offered with Mangrove Therapy
Addiction therapy isn’t the only service Mangrove Therapy offers in Delray Beach, FL. Our team knows that you may experience other mental health concerns which is why we are happy to offer therapy for trauma and PTSD/C-PTSD, substance use disorders, eating disorders, body image issues, anger management, anxiety, low self-esteem, and much more. Please feel free to learn more about how we can support you. We also offer support with addictions such as in-process addictions, grief, and loss, EMDR, “Failure to Launch” syndrome, CBT, and DBT. Feel free to learn more by visiting our blog or FAQ page to learn more today!